Basketball Depression Is Real
It's 840 hours and 35 days since you took your love away, oh, oh, oh,oh, oh-oh!
Every year around mid-June I become the living embodiment of those lyrics. I feel and understand the depth of Prince's words not because I was booed up but because basketball season is no more. I hurt, I suffer, and I go through withdrawals. No matter what I do, I feel the effects.
MAAAAAAN, basketball depression is real!
Some of ya'll are reading this like, "You shouldn't make light of mental health issues, there are people out here really struggling."
First off, I take mental health seriously and support all things self-care and wellness. I would never 'eva make light of it. 'EVA! The others are giving me the mouth-scrunched up, side eye like, "Seriously? C'mon LDR, there's no such thing!" And my response to them...you're dead ass wrong.
Ask any die-hard and they'll tell you different. When the season of your favorite sport ends, you're lost. You're twiddling your thumbs trying to figure some shit out. Plus there's that anxiety-filled question that stays on repeat:
How am I supposed to fill up my sports space from June to August until football season starts?
For inquiring minds that means college football for me 'cause I'm still not watching the NFL.
To manage the lull, the keyword "manage," I start moving different. SportsCenter is out of the morning rotation 'cause there's no basketball highlights. I'm not into soccer like that and baseball doesn't become relevant to me until September when the pennant races start. So I deep dive into "sports gossip television" (as one of my friends calls it) like NBA: Jump and just about any programming on NBA TV.
Get Up is my new main chick. Jalen Rose, Mike Greenberg, & Michelle Beadle are no longer singing SZA side chick lyrics in my life. Since I'm not distracted, I can fully appreciate how good their show is. I can hear the side chick committees of the world saying, "see what happens when you just give us a shot!"
During the week, I have enough programming going on that I really don't think about what I'm missing plus I'll usually squeeze in a WNBA game. If you're not watching the ladies you're missing out! They hoop!
The weekends play out differently. I'm a lost puppy. I soothe my open wound with replays of old NBA games from the 80s and 90s on ESPN Classic. I'll watch a little bit of the Big3 Basketball League but I tap out after fifteen minutes, I just can't thoroughly get into it. It reminds me a little bit of the Harlem Globetrotters without the theatrics (sorry Cube). I'll even watch two or three innings of baseball (only the Dodgers) but have to stop because it's just too slow. I keep a NBA Finals game on the DVR in case of an emergency. I never know how bad the jones is going to get and I might need to break the glass. And then there are the marathons that suck me in. Law & Order: SUV is the obvious pick, but in my desperation I entertain shows and even networks that would never be on my radar like I Almost Got Away With It, Bar Rescue, the LockUp franchise, Gangland, and Sex Sent Me To The ER. I have standards though. I draw the line at Lifetime movies.
These are my 'not having basketball' confessions, please don't judge me. I'm not right, right now.
The NBA knows that I'm one of many strung out on their brand of blue magic and they capitalize on us hardwood junkies. They fling the NBA Lottery, NBA Draft, NBA Awards Show, and Summer League at us like it's a Hydrox cookie instead of an Oreo. And we take it. I take the bait a teeny bit. I'll watch the lottery, the first round of the draft, and some summer league games. Then I'll catch myself 'cause it's fugazzi. I know I sound basketball snobbish but I want the real thing not the Sweet 'n Low, Equal, Splenda substitutes.
For us single people we have to use our spidey sense because life without basketball can get you caught up in some 'ish. Out of boredom I've found myself entertaining a few thots like, "huh (with a shoulder shrug), it's something to do, why not?" knowing good and darn well they shouldn't be on my radar. And it tends to be all good until it's not. That one too frequent "Netflix and chill" situationship goes Sybil and becomes a whole different set of issues that I didn't sign up for. Yeah, gots to be more careful!
I must admit this year's depression hasn't been as bad as previous years since it's the season of LeBron Free Agency. Additional rays of happiness have hit my face since the basketball gods blessed the purple and gold with the addition of LaBron (yes, I spelled it that way on purpose; he's in L.A. now). Plus Power is back on and I get to watch the St. Patricks wreak havoc like a tornado upon everyone they encounter. That damn Tariq! When is Angela going to say 'enough is enough'?
Let's just say I'm excited! I'm doing my happy dance, but I have realistic expectations. Championship banner number seventeen won't be built in a day, but it will be built.
Oh and before I forget!
All y'all traveling team LeBron bandwagoners, and those lifelong Lakers haters that now want to root for my team, I'm rejecting all applications Mutumbo style. I'm out here behaving like I work for the Trump administration and these Radio Flyers and traveling salesmen suitcases of 'Bron 'Bron jerseys of the past are trying to cross the border.
October can't get here soon enough!
