Best Overheards of 2017

It's that time of year when my other persona, "The Ear Hustler," comes with the recap of the best overheards of 2017. I'm good for giving you the auditory version of Batman and Bruce Wayne!

The overheards aren't ranked. I'll let you be the judge and the jury!

"Dear Lord, please keep your loving hand over my mouth and this knife in my purse."

"You know the way Donald Trump holds his lips...looks like he has been sucking d@#k all his life."

I'm gonna be a Jedi THOT!"

"I'm purposely going to be late to church today. It's Palm Sunday. I already know that story and it doesn't end well for Jesus."

"My favorite color is sparkle!"

"When you elect a clown expect a circus."

"Did my babies let the Deltas get you?"

"Distance is great for me in a relationship."

"It ain't gonna happen, she's the Mistress of Curve."

"Don't stress me out. I still have 20 lbs. to lose and I just had a cookie and a taco for breakfast."

"I'mma need you to change those hands to black hands. I know you light skin, but damn!" (in reference to emojis)

"Your lightweight whoreness is amazing to me!"

"Someone went in my phone and stole my purse!"

"Please send proof of life that you survived Homecoming."

"I was watching the pics from ya'll at Homecoming like a slave on the plantation watching the free slaves in the North. I had that Denzel "Glory" tear in my eye."

"I hate people and you're worth hating."

"There are cuter ones in the graveyard and they're a dime a dozen."

"I don't know why he's angry, he wears the cross of Jesus around his neck?"

"Person 1: Happy Birthday best friend! I love you with every inch of me!

Person 2: I love you more!

Person 1: Not possible! My titties are bigger!"

"Guilt is a helluva drug!"